holiday shuffle

If you’re like us and live away from family (one side or both) you know that time to decide and plan for where to spend your holidays is rapidly approaching. Air fare will only start to sky rocket from here which warrants the conversation, whose family are we spending Christmas with this year?

Sam and I have spent four holidays together, coming up on our fifth. The first year, I flew out to visit him and his family the day after Christmas, the second year, we both went separate directions and the third year, we agreed on an alternating schedule with my family one year and his next. The third year was spent in Wisconsin with my family. The fourth year was spent in Portland welcoming and adjusting to life with our little three week old, miss e. Due to her young age, we didn’t want to expose her to chaotic airports, flu infested recycled air on the plane (and truthfully the passing her around to all of the new baby hungry family members as she was so new to us and we wanted to study her every move and didn’t want to share quite yet) we decided stayed at our home and invited family to us. His mom and my parents both came out at separate times. Our fifth Christmas, in keeping with the promised schedule, will technically have us with his family for the holidays.

Evy's first ugly sweater party - in a stocking

Evy’s first ugly sweater party – in a stocking

Here’s the debate – we made this agreement when we lived away from both sides of the family and were in Portland, OR. Now that we’ve moved within 5 minutes from his mom, his cousin, his aunt, his grandma and within 30 minutes from his other two uncles – we get to see them and celebrate with them for every other holiday (including Easter, memorial day, labor day, all birthdays, presidents day (if we wanted to), etc.). Is it fair to request that we start a tradition with the weekend before Christmas celebration with his family in Baltimore and make the trip to Wisconsin for Christmas Eve and Christmas day as an annual occurrence (if we can afford it)? We’d spend every thanksgiving and every one of Evelyn’s birthdays in Baltimore with his family but we could give Christmas to my side of the family as a semi-even trade. Is it really a fair trade though? At some point, we will most likely start our own non-traveling holiday plans but for now, traveling is in our plans. With this debate, it should be noted that I absolutely love celebrating every large and small event with his family but yes, I am a little biased as I miss my family and my nieces every single day.

Sam so generously agreed for us to celebrate the holidays in Wisconsin this year, but the debate of future rotations is still up in the air. How do you and your family decide how to spend your holidays or personal celebrations between two families?

Honest opinions and suggestions welcomed.

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2 thoughts on “holiday shuffle

  1. I feel your pain. Last year we had 8 Christmas’s to go to….that’s right 8! From Thanksgiving-Christmas we traveled every weekend and some weekdays, it was exhausting to do all that traveling while having finals. I get everyone wanted to see us before we left for Jamaica, but this year we are going to try condense it down. I have been thinking about doing some family for Thanksgiving and visit the rest at Christmas, and flip flop that each year (have to talk more with Josh about this!). One side of my family has done Christmas in January or February so then everyone has fresh vacation days that they can use and travel expenses are cheaper. As long as it is communicated and planned with all involved it will work out. I think that for your situation, a rotation of Sam’s family, your family in WI, and then have people come to your place. That way every third year will be more expensive for travel, instead of every other year. Hope this helps, and enjoy a glass (or more) of spiked hot chocolate/wine/beer when the holidays get stressful!

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