4 is the magic number

Private dolphin swim in NZ

…. Four years together and magic is just one of many words to describe all that encompassed them.  I know it’s typically faux pa to acknowledge years together outside of marriage but we’ve earned it and I’m going to celebrate it (*gosh darn it*)!  So my tribute to my loving hubby – happy four years of learning, loving, growing, cheering, cheers-ing, parenting, traveling, adventuring, exploring, trusting and honoring one another.

Four years ago, my best friend Emily and I debated over a beach trip or to visit our friend from high school in Seattle.  It was a toss up, and I’m so happy we decided on Seattle.  Who would’ve ever thought my first words to my husband would be, “nice garden”… Everything from those first moments of meeting you are so fitting to who we are together as a couple; from our first fight over who wore the flower behind their ear first, to me jumping into your jacket with you after the sun escaped, to stubbornly waiting on you to text – four years later and nothing’s changed,…. except everything – and all for the better.

Visited 26 states, 3 countries (soon to be 4), 2 cross country road trips, 6 moves, 8 jobs, 1 dog & 1 baby.

We’ve been through so much during each one of those four years that it’s safe to say, we can roll with just about any scenario life throws at us and there’s no one on God’s green earth that I’d rather tackle the challenges and enjoy the sweet triumphs with.  You’re my best friend and I love you to the moon and back.

engagement party fun

the photo that follows us everywhere #hoeppnerwedding

baby showerin’

arrrrg in OZ

created & packaged with love

xo,

Cortney

babies on planes

I’m sure Sam and I are not the only parents who feared their child’s first flight. We read up on ways to sooth Evelyn during take-off and landing. We found a cute idea of passing out ear plugs, candy, gum and a little note to passengers around us. We did everything we could to make the flight enjoyable for everyone. I don’t expect that all parents do the same thing, but I’m sure there’s at least a little anxiety and at least a little forethought on the possibility of a completely melt down. With that, I have compassion and patience with parents of crying babies on flights.

On my most recent trip to Texas, there were a few babies on the flight. Two of which were with just their mothers, alone. Both of these babies had little spouts of whining and crying, which to me was completely normal and expected. Apparently, the woman in front of me disagreed. During landing, one of the babies was crying for about five minutes when she literally shouted in a very demanding tone, “PUT YOUR THUMB IN YOUR CHILDS MOUTH ALREADY!” I was furious for the poor mother.

1. Don’t you think she knows that her child’s ears are hurting him?
2. Do you honestly think she enjoys hearing her own child crying?
3. If you have helpful advice, offer it in a helpful manner.
4. Don’t you see that she’s frantically trying to calm him down in every single way a mother can think of – if he doesn’t want to suck on something, you can’t make him.
5. Who are you to speak to anyone in that tone, let alone demand parenting techniques to strangers?

The whole thing baffled my mind and if she were to say that to me, I’d politely apologize for my child’s pain and thank her for her patience (let’s be honest, this would accompany a stern look and a less than pleasant tone). Instead, the frantic mother kept trying to calm her child while covering his mouth in hopes of muffling the cries. If she didn’t rush off the plane so quickly, I wanted to reassure her, she’s a good mom. No one deserves public humiliation when you’re main focus should be centered on taking care of your child.

As a traveling parent, I have sympathy to distraught children on planes. Not only are their schedules messed up, the different sensations of a plane ride can do a number to their little tummies, their ears may not pop on their own at different elevations and the idea of being up in the air could be extremely terrifying. Sticking your thumb in your child’s mouth (in most cases) is not going to be the answer to soothing a terrified child.

Come on folks let’s show a little bit of compassion, or if you really can’t handle a child’s cries, come prepared with ear plugs, headphones or better yet, a sedative. Thumper could help us all out in situations like these, “if you can’t say something nice .. don’t say nothing at all.”

married with kid(s)

2 young professionals, married with 7.5 month old baby, loves the outdoors, wine, day trips and adventure seeking other young married professionals with baby and/or young children who also like outdoors, wine, day trips and adventure.

THIS IS WHAT LIFE HAS BECOME. Finding friends after having kids is like joining a dating website or creating a craigslist add. I’m going to start a new section of missed connections: “My husband and I were at the tot lot today, he was wearing a green shirt and I had on a purple dress. You had a little boy about one year old. We talked for 2 minutes about public schools verse private schools and then you had to run to change a diaper. Please call us to finish our ADULT CONVERSATION. PLEASE!”

In all honesty, we are just now feeling settled enough to start socializing beyond family and our friends from college, but putting ourselves out there is proving awkward. Having a social group is so important to our sanity and well-being, but finding friends who share similar parenting styles, and are able to coordinate schedules around nap times, etc is a challenge. My joke of starting a miss connections isn’t all that far off from the excitement of having a random conversation with another young couple at the zoo, having an awkward goodbye and then walking to the car debating why or how we should’ve exchanged numbers – IT’S PLAY-DATE DATING FOR PARENTS. It’s weird, its awkward and it’s painful.

Any suggestions as we venture out into the social abyss that is creating a new social network of parent-friends?!

my unsolicited new job advice

I am very fortunate to have gone to college knowing what degree I wanted to receive (Recreation & Tourism), even more fortunate to land a part-time job during my first year of college which allowed me to gain professional experience (Winona Parks & Recreation), even more fortunate to graduate with said degree and gain a full time career in desired field (Portland Parks & Recreation) all spanning a 8 year time span. I had been prepared, well groomed and trained for the recreation field as a professional. Never had I planned to leave this career so when I did, I entered culture shock.

Starting a new career (trained or not) is intimidating. Starting a new career with no background or training in the new field is horrifying. You’re probably wondering, why on earth would you put yourself in that position – here’s why: 1) job moved us closer to family 2) salary allowed for Sam to be a stay at home dad 3) it was offered to me by a good friend who believed in me and 4) I believe challenge keeps the mind young while comfort allows for complacency. While I miss my recreation career daily, I do not regret this career change. After completing my first almost six months with my new career, I’ve been able to look back and reflect on some key points that helped make this transition successful (listed in no particular order):

1. Desire challenge. Know that your mind is never at max capacity and you always have room to learn a new skill.
2. Be confident in your ability to master a new skill.
3. Be patient with yourself when the new skill does not instantly come easily.
4. Work hard. It can be frustrating, but don’t give up and don’t be afraid to go down a rabbit hole with a method you think will work, even if it turns out to not go as smoothly as you predicted.
5. Socialize. Everyone has had a first day at work, or has been the “new guy.” Make a great first impression by taking the time to get to know your co-workers. That will make it easier to go ask questions when you get stuck trying to figure out the copy machine, or refill the coffee, or how to connect a printer to your network. Share things about yourself and truly want to get to know things about them. If you’re worried about crossing professional boundaries of making friends in the office, you don’t need to invite them over for dinner – just don’t be the scrooge of the office who stays to himself.
6. Ask questions. Nobody was born knowing how to put together a car, or write a proposal – it takes time. Don’t try to re-create the wheel so ask those around you if they have any examples of projects to work off of. It helps if you know their name before you ask so make sure to conquer #5 before you go mooching off their work as a reference.
7. Have fun. Be able to laugh at yourself when you make a mistake or it takes you all day to figure out how to cut out an object and give it a transparent background in Photoshop. The small victories will make you jump out of your chair and proclaim your Photoshop super-hero powers to the office (true story). This will also make you relatable with your co-workers and give the office a sense of cohesion where everyone likes coming into work to see their friends daily.
8. Be upfront. If you miss-understand directions or are afraid to ask a question because you’re afraid it will be taken the wrong way – it is always better to come out and be upfront with your concerns. If you make it a habit of keeping things to yourself and going on with your daily work hoping that you’re doing something the way it was asked of you or hoping that what you’re doing is within company policy, you’ll create a stressful work environment for yourself and could also end up getting yourself in trouble. Your boss and co-workers will understand and sympathize with you if you give them information and share concerns upfront rather than being called out for it later on.
9. Give it a chance. If your new job isn’t all that you thought it would be – find a way to make it enjoyable by adding in a bit of your own flare. Decorate your office/cubicle to inspire more creative work. Don’t make a hasty decision to hate your new job based on office environment, development of new skills, unfriendly co-workers. If you need to learn photoshop and it intimates you – think about the iphone photos of your dog, baby, spouse that you could enhance through photoshop and make learning fun and enjoyable rather than stressing about learning the program for a huge document you have to create for work. It is less intimidating when you make it personal and for fun rather than a skill solely dependent for professional growth.
10. Reach out. Look for resources to help you understand your profession (pamphlets, websites, company catalogs) or resources to help you learn new software (youtube, Lynda.com, teamtreehouse, etc)

Whatever your reason for a career change, trust in yourself and go with it. You’ll eventually be happy that you did and who knows what you’ll learn about yourself in the process. Be sure to thank your husband/loved one often during this time to accompany your happy transition with a happy household. It’s a transition for them too!

What lessons have you learned during a career change?

over laundry, really?

Those of you who have been following along, know that we had many considerations in choosing a neighborhood during our house hunt. We wanted to live in a great school district, in the county, in a safe neighborhood with promise of rising property values, near family. We found the perfect first home with all of those key, desired characteristics.
No more than 2 months living in our home, a community-shaking murder took place just three streets away from our new address. As I left for work one Wednesday morning, our neighborhood was swarmed with police and news cameras. Turns out that at 5:30 in the morning, a man was chased down and shot while he was driving his car, causing him to hit numerous cars on his street, flip his car and be found dead at the scene. This event was tragic.
During the week it took the police to solve the crime, there were many speculations, harsh accusations and disappointing actions/reactions that took place throughout our cozy community. It was identified that the man who was shot and killed was a resident in our neighborhood. He rented his home (this is the first WHO CARES). It was speculated that his rental was section 8 (this is the second WHO CARES). He and his family are African American (this is the third and largest WHO CARES). Other speculations played over the week such as: this was a drug deal gone bad, this was gang related, etc. These speculations were made based solely on the above three WHO CARES facts.
Turns out, the murderer was a friend of the victims’ girlfriends’ daughter. The murderer had stopped by their residence to drop off laundry for his friend to do for him. When the victim denied laundry service, he was chased down and shot. REALLY? OVER DIRTY SOCKS?
All I have to say is that I hope every single person of our community who speculated the reasons or circumstances of this tragic incident as a gang or drug related crime is ashamed. I also hope that every single person of our community who stated their opposition for allowing renters or section 8 properties into our community due to this isolated incident over dirty laundry feels horrible. Where was the compassion to one of our neighbors who lost their loved one? Regardless of the reason, where was the compassion? Drug related, gang related, dirty laundry related, it doesn’t matter… violence is never the answer and when tragedy strikes a community, we rally together not fall apart. His family needed our love, support and acceptance – not our accusations, speculations and shunning.
Our thoughts, love and prayers are with the victim’s family for his unfortunate, tragic death. Hopefully compassion will form out of ignorance and patience will come before blind assumptions in all future happenings.

fear of flying

Never in my life have I had a fear of flying. Ask anyone- I would hop on any plane, to any destination at any moment if given the chance. I love to travel. Turns out that once you pop a baby out, that changes (slightly).
I’m on my way to Texas for a work trip and while it’s always difficult leaving behind my hubby and baby, the recent happenings with airlines make it more than difficult: fearful. Two weeks ago there was the Asiana flight which landed short of the run way and then just days ago was the Southwest flight whose front wheels collapsed upon landing. Yikes.
I’m trying to be an optimist and put my big girl panties on, but these events do leave room to wonder – what if I’m on one of those unlucky flights? I don’t have a will put in place. Sam and I avoid the what-if conversations because… because! Is it time to change our ways and be prepared for any situation or does that lend itself to foreshadowing events to come?
Regardless, I use to sit on flights and anxiously await the adventures that lie ahead at my destination. Now I sit on flights reflecting on how happy I am at this point in my life and anxiously await the adventures that lie ahead back home! Don’t get me wrong, if my family were traveling with me, I’d be excited for my destination and the adventures to come but this trip – without my baby and without my better half – leaves me in need of a plan – because life is unpredictable and just a tad bit scary.

Anyone else had this sudden shift from comfort of flying to fear of flying?

a lovely, impromptu weekend

This weekend took me back.  We had a lovely weekend full of both impromptu and planned activities – all of which took me back to various times.

Saturday morning rummage sale-ing: took me back to our Portland rummage sale-ing days with coffee in hand & baby in belly.  Fast forward to this weekend, coffee in hand & baby in stroller.  Instead of crib searching, we scored an awesome entry table, a vegetable steamer & a mirror/key holder for next to our front door – all for way cheap.  Although Sam and I are constantly saying, “let’s not fill our house with crap and start saving for real pieces of quality furniture” – we are still able to find a few diamonds in the rough while sorting through things at sales.  With that, the entry table we purchased is missing a drawer.. but ya know, I’ll find something to spruce it up and make it our own.

Saturday evening going away party:  took me back to my college days for a few reasons: 1) it was with my college roomie, Jenny who was always my beer pong partner through college 2) we played beer pong and dominated as we use to 3) I stayed up past midnight.  How did we ever do that every night of every weekend with a few weeknights mixed in?  While I miss college days and all of my friends, I do not wish to re-live those nights.. I am no longer 21 (officially).

Sunday morning day after party group breakfast: took me back to many ‘o breakfasts (whether in college or in Portland) hashing out the events from the night before.   Only this time, I’m feeding my daughter eggs for the first time which dominates the conversation rather than actual events from the night before.  It is still pretty surreal to me as I look across the table at my college roommate, Jenny who has a 2 year old building a tower of creamer containers and a 10 month old sleeping in a car seat while I have a 7 month old trying to put anything and everything in her mouth, that this is where we are in life after only being removed from our college house days about 5 years ago.  How sweet life changes for the better.

Sunday night date night:  took me back to pre-baby days (which would also be pre-marriage days – since that’s the last date night we had!).  We went to dinner at Hamilton Tavern (so good), walked around inner harbor & went to Ram’s Head to see Pentatonix.  6 hours child free, just my husband and I to have conversation about whatever we want to talk about, holding hands.. perfection. (Don’t get me wrong, by 10p.m. we were racing to get home to little e, but the time to focus on us was lovely).

Sam’s delicious, massive burger (photo credit: sam kittinger)

Although I’m exhausted, it’s so worth it.  This weekend was a reminder mainly that I’m no longer 21 (due to the fact that I’m shamefully still feeling the negative effects of the weekend ON TUESDAY); but most importantly that is crucial for Sam and I to make time for each other (& at times just each other).  Our time together (in all activities) was wonderful. We have a blast together and the beauty of us having the time of our lives by enjoying every bit and every second of parenting is what makes me love him all the more.  While the “partying” will not be regular thing, the impromptu-coffee-in-hand outings & the baby-free date nights will become more of routine (by routine: maybe a once a month baby-free night & a weekly coffee-in-hand outing).

If Pentatonix is coming near you – GO CHECK THEM OUT .  If you’re a parent and dismiss the idea of a regular date night as necessary – don’t.  It seriously is so worth it to take 2 hours to just enjoy you and your spouse.  Celebrate being parents, celebrate being in love, celebrate each other  – you don’t have to get crazy but take the time to enjoy being “you.”   This weekend, I was thankful for new friends, old friends, going away friends, family who so willingly watches our little one, live music, good food, old & new memories and most importantly, my hubby.

marital tiffs

We’re going on 5 months of marriage now, and it wouldn’t be healthy if we didn’t have the occasional “tiff” especially with all that we have going on. Most of the time, our little tiff’s are laugh-worthy and are more of mind games than anything else (ya know, to keep each other on our toes). So here goes our recent tiffs (for your reading pleasure and welcomed “choosing of sides.”)

Sam and I headed to Richmond, VA last weekend to visit our lovely friend, Megan and her family. In preparation for this trip, I packed Evelyn’s bag and my belongings, leaving Sam just to pack food (instructed to empty all produce from the refrigerator and put in cooler) and the box wine (to also put in the cooler). I had promised Megan sangria with the box wine.

Sam texts me and says, “I can’t fit the wine in the cooler.” I reply, “okay, that’s fine.” My interpretation is that the wine doesn’t necessarily need to go in the cooler, and that Sam is well aware that we promised Sangria so (logically) he’ll pack it, somewhere outside of the cooler. WRONG. The box wine did not make it to Richmond, VA.

Next (now in the car headed to destination):
Me, “Do we have to pass through any tolls on the way?”
Sam, “Yes”
Me,”What are we going to do for them?”
Sam, “Pay them..?”

Here’s my issue with this.. shouldn’t it be obvious that I know we need to pay the tolls?! Did he honestly think that I believed the toll guards would take one look at our adorable family and say, “it’s your lucky day, you get to go FO’FREE!!??” No. We (as a couple) do not carry cash. I (as a mid-westerner from non-toll states) am inexperienced with the procedure of non-cash tolls (if they even exist). Am I wrong to ask that question and then be offended with his response?

Don’t get me wrong, we had a laugh through this entire conversation and series of events and this post is in no way to determine a legitimate argument but COME ON… give me a bit more credit than that!

These are examples of daily communications, or mis communications rather, that take place with this newly married couple.  It’s fun, its frustrating, it’s romantic, it’s whatever we make of it.

Life’s all about having fun (or it should be).  Why sweat the small stuff and waste any moments in real arguments with the ones you love?  But.. if you want to tell me I was right and he was wrong, I welcome comments 🙂

 

a perfect evening

Honestly, last night was my kind of perfect night.

Traffic was non existent on my drive home, the weather was perfect for sun roof open and windows down, the radio was cranked and the sun was shining.

I enter a cool home to a welcoming husband and a smiling baby.

I get to feed my baby, play with her, make her laugh and then all eat dinner together (eggplant parm- made by my husband).

Sam mows the lawn while Evy and I go for a run/walk.

Evy falls asleep and I enjoy the scenery while finding a box of FREE books – what what?

When we get home, I feed Evy a bottle while Sam sings/reads her a bedtime book which she LOVED (& so did I).

We put her down and then head to our patio where the sun is just about to set and enjoy a glass of white wine and plan our weekend (on a tuesday – heck yes to my ocd with planning).

We decide a date night is essential. Yes, that’s right – essential so we check in with Neena (Sam’s mom) to make sure she can watch our little one, and then purchase tickets to PENTATONIX (the past showchoir/ “gleek” in me is insanely giddy) for this upcoming Sunday, then curl on the couch and watch a few of their a cappella videos on their youtube channel.

All that and can get into bed by 10 p.m.

Perfection.

BWI -> RVA road trip

RVA road trip ” />

The Head & the Heart + Evy chit-chatting = happy road trip tunes.

Happy weekend, friends.